It's been awhile since I've posted because J seems to be doing quite well, at least at school where it is most important. We still struggle, particularly on Sundays, with impulsivity and some destructive behaviors that has had me tempted at times to give her her medicine on the weekends, even though I'm against it.
J has recently discovered Classical Music and LOVES it. It just so happens I was doing research on ADHD for a couple of papers I'm writing for a class and came across a study done on the use of Music Therapy in ADHD children. The study concluded, after surveying 98 Music Therapists in 46 States that there was significant improvement in behavioral problems associated with ADHD in about 90% of the children. These kids usually were being treated by others methods in conjunction with the Music Therapy, which makes sense in my own experience. So, I created her own playlist on my iPad of classical music of which I tested last night when she was supposed to be picking up her room. She was done in about 20 minutes. Anyone who knows this little girl can attest to the fact that she will sit in there for DAYS (seriously, DAYS) on end and still not clean her room. I am aware that this could just be a fluke. But it motivated me to look up Music Therapists in our area. So far the closest program I have found is out of Lawrence, about an hour and a half or so from us. I will keep looking though, because the idea of it sounds awesome!
As of late I've really been struggling with R, who will be 4 next month. In the past it has been suggested to me to medicate him, by J's therapist. Obviously my feelings about medication prevent me from doing this, just as it did with J. He has a very different personality and demeanor than J though. She is sweet and kind, albeit a total "space cadet" and occasionally destructive. R though, has always, even as an infant, been either hot or cold. He can be loving and want to cuddle, then the next second be screaming in your fact and kicking you. Lately it's been more of the latter than the former. He is exhausting in that he refuses to be "controlled." Even knowing that eventually he WILL go to bed, he will still fight it from the moment it's time to brush teeth. Then leave his room a dozen times, make you literally chase him through the house, then kick and hit as you carry him back up the stairs to his room. This is not just a bedtime issue, this is an ongoing issue regardless of what the task is or time of day. Yesterday him and I decided it would be fun to walk the six blocks to J's school to pick her up instead of driving. We barely made it a block before he decided he wanted carried and complained his feet hurt. I suppose it would have been the smart move to just turn around and go home and get the truck, but I convinced myself that he would improve as we continued walking. There were several yards where he was listening, but I'm pretty sure I spent at least half of the trip there dragging him by the arm because he didn't want to walk, OR walked so slowly a snail could have slimmed laps around him. By the time we picked up Jocelyn and began our walk across the parking lot, he started his classic trick of standing and refusing to move. With many children you can just start walking and they will start running after you. Not this child. Either he KNOWS you won't leave him, or he really doesn't care. So I walked over there, picked him up, and started my trek home... him kicking and screaming on my hip. You can only imagine the looks I received from passing motorists. A few were looks of pity, but most were looks that lead me to expect a knock at my door, DCF badge in hand of the person waiting for me to answer. I put him down a few times, hoping he'd walk, but no. I was literally in tears by the time I approached our yard, Feeling completely incompetent as a parent to this child, and utterly clueless as to how to fix it before it escalates to the point of no return. These are the kinds of things he does daily, although usually not quite as public as this incident (because I'm not usually stupid enough to take him out in public and risk it). I almost called our pediatrician this morning, begging for advice. He and I have had conversations about his behavior in the past, although we've never really set out on a course of action to try to recify it. But,we need to do something before any positive relationship potential,is lost, and R has lasting negative affects (not to mention the possibility that I may go completely bonkers and end up in a State institution). l
